


he wasn’t mine to lose

by bringmayflowers



Series: would everything be different? [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Bittersweet Ending, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28475103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmayflowers/pseuds/bringmayflowers
Summary: Minhyuk knew it wouldn’t last, but he’d rather have it temporarily than never. After all, the feeling of being alive with Hyungwon despite the inevitable pain was better than having never met him at all.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk
Series: would everything be different? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084571
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13
Collections: "evermore" & "folklore" New Year's Eve Exchange





	he wasn’t mine to lose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ensorcel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ensorcel/gifts).



> inspired by Taylor Swift’s august.

He could feel it, the way you can feel a match about to burn out. Minhyuk knew it wouldn’t last, but he was willing to sacrifice it all for the thrill that he could feel now.

They’d met at the camp, Minhyuk having been a counselor for three consecutive years now. He was paired up with Hyungwon, who had attended when he was younger but had no experience leading. 

Somewhere in between their first meeting, where Hyungwon’s eyes had looked playful while just sticking his hand out for a shake, to the bonding nights where just the counselors had played dumb games like Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare, he’d fallen for him.

He knew. Minhyuk knew this would be temporary, his summer fling moment, but he didn’t care. Not when Hyungwon looked like  _ that _ and had this  _ look _ in his eyes that made him want to do unspeakable things while there were still kids in the near vicinity. It wasn’t a surprise that after the three-day training period, they were assigned to the same cabin for the duration of the camp.

The subtle touches they’d shared at first as friends quickly faded as Minhyuk became bolder, never afraid of what he wanted and knowing he was fighting a clock. He could feel Hyungwon’s hesitance, something pulling him back, but Minhyuk was never one to back down from a challenge. He pushed, but just gently, enough that Hyungwon knew what his intentions were. After all, neither of them were dumb.

When Hyungwon slipped out one night after turning off his phone with a sigh, he followed him out. It wasn’t allowed, the cabins were all made of wood and straw, but there Hyungwon was, smoking a cigarette, hiding in the darkness created by the side of the cabin and the surrounding forest.

“You know, that’s not good for you.” Minhyun sat down on the small porch, legs stretched out in Hyungwon’s direction. Technically, there was supposed to be one counselor in the cabin at all times, but this was close enough that he’d made an exception for himself.

Hyungwon considered the lit end, flicked it, before pulling it to his mouth and taking another drag from the end. “I know. But it’s become a habit now.”

Minhyuk’s hands itched to feel the softness of Hyungwon’s sleep shirt under his hands, soft hair twisted around his fingers. His heart felt like the lit end of the cigarette, not completely on fire but smouldering and not ready to go out.

He hated the smell of smoke, but he couldn’t deny that Hyungwon looked very attractive. Enough so that he couldn’t resist; he had never been good at impulse control. Why start now?

The cigarette dropped to the ground, forgotten as Hyungwon twisted his hands in something—or rather, someone—else.

Minhyuk had driven himself there, as he usually returned home at some point during the middle of the month over a weekend to get his laundry done and see his friends. But this year, he let himself go. He wanted to have Hyungwon all to himself, before August slipped away, so easily out of his hands, he was only left with a distant memory. 

So instead, he used up his extra polaroid refills taking pictures of him and Hyungwon with their campers, Hyungwon at the beach attempting to get a tan, Hyungwon and him at the mart in the city nearby their summer camp. He filled a shoebox of the movie stubs they gathered at the tiny cinema nearby, the tickets they got parking in illegal spots for too long, receipts of another tank of gas.

Minhyuk couldn’t care enough of what Hyungwon may be hiding from. He was addicted to his lips like a wine—though the only comparison he had was the cheap dollar store stuff he had gotten his brother to smuggle for when Hyunwoo, Jooheon, and him had gone camping together one summer—, and though he knew he would finish the bottle too quickly, he couldn’t care about the future consequences and pain he would have to face himself.

Hyungwon stopped texting his friends as much too, almost never using it anymore. Instead, he used Minhyuk’s phone to take pictures of him doing silly poses with their campers during arts and crafts day and selfies when they were together at the beach. 

They weren’t oblivious. They were both using each other, leaving behind their real lives for the little sliver of camp where the forest and beach met one another, where time seemed to pass simultaneously faster and slower than it ever had before. The shrieks of their campers getting up to no good shook them out when they got too lost in one another, kept them tethered to this reality before they could float away, usually before they could be caught by anyone else as well. To anyone else in the camp, him and Hyungwon were just fast friends, nothing more. 

(Maybe even less, based on the knowledge they had of one another’s real friends. Hyungwon never mentioned his, and so Minhyuk kept his that way too. He’d always been known to get attached too fast, so this would help his mind keep its distance, no matter how attached his heart was already.)

(And really, they weren’t much more than that, were they? Just strangers with a mutual agreement, understanding that passed without needing spoken words.)

Minhyuk knew he was ignoring his friends. They were the ones who would stick by him after their summer had been left behind (because Hyungwon was only temporary) and he tried to meet up with them, really, almost about to leave to make the drive back and get some food with them. But Hyungwon had come back from whatever cleaning duties he had, finishing earlier than expected, and now his entire afternoon was free. How could he resist that?

They spent an afternoon on the beach instead, Minhyuk teaching Hyungwon how to swim like Hyunwoo had taught him before.

He knew he was grasping at straws, but this was temporary. He lived purely for the hope of it making it through, not just being a summer thing, but he knew he was wrong. Hyungwon was looking to run away from something, and Minhyuk was ready to be discarded.

Because as pathetic it was, at least if he was thrown away, it meant he was once wanted.

The last days before they leave, both of them begin to take it slower, knowing that now, they were counting down. The days left turned into hours, and just like how quickly their Firsts had happened, so did their Lasts.

When Hyungwon said “Goodbye,” with a finality Minhyuk hadn’t heard before, he knew. Something told him that, despite his best efforts to convince himself, Hyungwon was never really his.

“Goodbye,” he echoed, and they hugged one last time. 

Minhyuk willed his tears away, wanting the goodbye to be as sweet as the rest of their memories; if nothing else, he deserved that much. That this August would be sealed in the back of a closet, like the shoebox of memories still sitting in his backseat. 

He knew that, at least, he would always have Hyunwoo, with his calm demeanour and reliable shoulders to cry on. And Jooheon, whenever he needed dimples to poke or someone to cuddle, who would ignore the wetness seeping into his clothes, because even if he didn’t know, he  _ knew _ .

Minhyuk smiled. After all, every good coming-of-age film needs a good summer fling. As he gets into his car, he waves at him one last time. Hyungwon disappears behind the door of the bus, blends seamlessly back into the crowd of strangers like he’d never even existed. 

From strangers, to friends (?), to strangers again. That’s all they were now.

(Neither looked back.)

**Author's Note:**

> this one was actually pretty fun to write! this can be read as a oneshot, though i strongly recommend finishing the series as they were all written as companion pieces of one another. thank you for reading!


End file.
